back by request...i'd join this swap if

i would join this swap if i cared more about who joined

I would join this swap if..... I didn't have to put up with picky swappers, and eat my tongue

I would join this swap if ... NOBODY move!!! Gimmie all your blank PCs now or I will put POOP emojis on your profiles!

I would join swap if I didn't have a life and also if I cared!!!

I'd join this swap if... there were some darn bullet points to make the description easier to read!! 😉

I'd join this swap but it's International and my computer gets confused, it need to be regional say no farther away than Maine just the EAst coast of the US in fact. . Sometimes my computer eats my emails or deletes things I swear I never deleted and where the heck are all my pictures? Computers are supposed to make life easier. Invite me on a form in triplicate sent by registered mail and I'll join this swap - if my log in password works !

I'd join this swap, but I'm running with scissors … singing Baby It's Cold Outside, eating raw cookie dough and having a life!

I'd join this swap if... you would only forget to assign partners and make sure to set the rating requirement at 3.80 so I can get flaked on. Now, hurry and slap some stickers on it!

I'd join this swap if....the postage rates were not going up January 27th. Do you know how much it will cost to send this by electronic mail?!?

my dog said i could join ONLY if he could have his picture included here, so here it is...

also, i had to send my turtle out to make tonight's cash

I'd join this swap if I weren't considering selling an organ on the black market so I can afford the outrageous cost of healthcare. Furthermore, I'd join this swap if I could telepathically type this email.

I'd only join this swap if you guarantee no one is getting rated down! I mean swapping is for fun right? No time for all those meanies, fussing over some internet comments :)

i'd join, but this swap seems a little SLOW!!! at the moment

I'd join this swap if. . .a large mocha choka latte jumped out of my phone, of course with a donut! Wait. . .wait. . . NOPE cancel that cause I'd probably spill it on my phone. . .ok FINE I'll make my own coffee!!! I'd still take the dang donut though! Or maybe a singing message from our host?? You know. . .as soon as we've clicked to write something I'd start hearing "Oh she's sweet but a psycho, a little bit psycho, at night she's screaming oh my my I'm out my mind" or maybe some " crazy (cue orchestra) crazy for feeling so lonely". . .😉

I'd join this swap if I could find the time from all my hours spent staring at zentangle patterns.

i'd join this swap, but...

I'd join this swap if I could use both hands to type without waking the dogs using my other arm as head rest. Sam is 8 weeks and I don't want to go out in the cold. He just ate not long ago. Gag, getting up now cause that wasn't puppy breath!

Oh man, I'd join this swap if it weren't for the timing! I mean, how am I supposed to make time to interact with people when I have SO MANY things to do like washing the dog, doing the dishes, hiding a body, going to law school, graduating law school, passing my bar exam, getting interviewed and ultimately accepted at a decent firm, owning my own firm down the road and becoming basically untouchable by anyone because I've done some shady work for shadier people, forgetting about the body, mom's new husband putting in a deck behind my childhood house, finding the body, trying to figure out where it came from, ultimately causing me to have to live life on the road under a false name, huddling close strangers in the cold dark nights of Moscow as I try to piece together where it all went wrong. Like, I GUESS I could participate in the time it took for me to tell you my plans, but uhhh Yeah No, Sorry... I just can't :/

I'd join this swap if the swap rules could be a little flexible! Well the essence is to share a comment right? Our partner should deserve a perfect 5 even if they commented on my profile, or on their instagram page, or through texting - the possibilities are unlimited. Why even bother :D

i would join, but i'm not sure how to do this swap

I would join if I cared abouty ratings! Lol jk

I'd join this swap if the electric rates weren't so high. I have to cut back on using my email. Every time I send a message... all those little electrons don't work for free, you know!

I'd join this swap, if I could remember lyrics for your other swap.

I'd join this swap if I could yell 'Plot Twist' and run away.

I'd join this swap if I could choose my own partners.
I don't want everybody to read my comment, and also I want to choose which comment I like to rate, so I know it is worth a 5.

I'd join this swap if the aliens don't come back....

I'd join this swap, if you explained where I find my partner's info?!?!

I’d join this swap if every person who joined was from Canada and had to send me some Tim Bits!

I'd join this swap if... no. i just wouldn't. Unless i woke up & Roseanne & Trump were all just a horrific nightmare.

I'd join this swap ... I could remember who I was and where I was and why I did this.

I would join this swap ... if I could type with my nose or my toes.

I would join this swap ... if there weren't so many rules ...oh! wait there are no rules ...never mind.

I would join this swap.....if the turtle didn't have bigger boobs then me...I'm jeaously.

I would join this swap but I am visiting from MARS and I don't know how long I will be on earth for.

I would join this swap if it was for aliens but it's only for humans. Or is it?

I would join this swap if the prize was a bar of chocolate and not just a 5 rating.

I would join this swap , oh wait a minute, "Beam me up Scotty."

I would join this swap but my space ship''s computer cant connect to the ancient earthly so called computer system called swap bot.

I'd join this swap if the swap requirements were more stringent. I won't accept anything less than perfection. Also, I'd join this swap if participants could make up their own rules that have nothing to do with the actual swap rules...

I’d join this swap if people wasn’t so picky at what you say ! And I have to rate them too ! No way ! Moving on !

I would join this swap if you sent me Money..... and CHOCOLATE... every month!!!!!

I would join this swap if my cat weren't begging me to take him for a walk at the local dog park while I eat a big, juicy hamburguer

I would join this swap if my cat weren't laying on my stomach when I really need to get up and go to the bathroom but he looks so adorable I don't want to disturb him

I'd join this swap if you keep the rating requirement low, because you know... 5's are overrated and I'm bound to be late for some reason or another! :P

I would sign up for this swap if I could remember what I just walked into the living room for but I can't remember what it was until I go back into the kitchen.

I would join this swap if all I had to do was sign up for the swap but nooo you want me to read someone's comment(s) and then I have to give them a rating and it's just so much. I mean really who has time for all that? I'm exhausted just thinking about it. I'm going to bed now.

I would join this swap if it would have more partners.
5 is just not enough. I want everyone to be my partner.
I want them all!!

I would join this swap if it weren't for the no kids stickers restriction. Seriously, who doesn't love a good cartoon or comic book hero sticker? What exactly is a 'kids' sticker anyway? Is my sheet of Darth Vader stickers a kids sticker? What about vintage Lisa Frank stickers from the 80's? Scratch and Sniff? Who doesn't appreciate a good vintage grape scratch and sniff sticker? If it is old enough you could even say it has aged to wine scratch and sniff sticker status.

I'd join this swap if there were some capital letters in title and there was more to be seen in "Top Swaps" than just "back by request" - I mean I didn't even click on this swap because I couldn't see what is this about!

I would join this swap if you could guarantee me that the -5- partners I end up with will find my comment funny and that they do wet their pants which means I get -5- stars. The way my luck goes on Swap-Bot...I’ll probably get -5- partners who are having a bad day and rate me based on how they feel at the moment...which will most likely be pretty crappy!!! I’ll just continue reading these comments now and “LMAO”, following that damn cigarette smoking, big boobed, stiletto wearing turtle to wherever she is going. I had a boss that had hair just like that!!!

I would join this swap if my partner would guarantee they would join my shovel club, swing by my house and clean it, OH OH and my car just told me it needs an oil change, so there's that. Wait. We have to READ. Define read. Can I skim? Is there an option to click where it can be made text to voice? This clearly hasn't been thought through. There are sooo many ways I could screw this up. Is pell ckerr on? Is there even an optioni here for pell chkrr? My gosh there is SO MUCH PRESSURE on this swap. I need to excuse myself and grab a glass of wine.

..also...I would join this swap if you had made it clear about peeing pants earning hearts. How do we KNOW our partners DIDN'T pee their pants, but they just don't want to hand out a heart?? What if they wear depends? Did they technically pee their pants, or pee their diaper? Do you earn a heart if you do pee your diaper? How much pee? Are we talking a sneeze squirt, or a full on the front of my pants are now drenched? Why isn't photographic proof required? Wait. Do I really WANT photographic proof of someone peeing their pants. Hard no. So we cycle back to the whole hearts=pants peeing clarification.

also Part 2..I would join this swap if you clearly defined what lol means. It could mean laugh out loud..but how hard? Is it a chuckle? Nose snort? Guffaw? Belly laugh? Tears? Window shaker? It could also mean literally only lunatics. So than it would require a definition of lunatic. I mean, really...one person's lunatic is another persons best friend. So now you want us to hate on someone's best friend for a freakin' heart? That's not very nice.

ALSO I would join this swap if only more people would join it and make it a top ten swap! I only join the most popular swaps! It must be on the left hand side of the swap-bot page in order for me to deign join it! And the host must be someone I have never heard of before with no ratings and not even a profile page. They must delete their account but still host. Then I'll join!

i would join this swap if someone else was hosting it. also, i want a poem .

fine...i'll post on myself...thanks for nothing

I would join this swap if ...I knew what to swap ...my husband, my dog, my best friend, my sister, my house ..... i just don't know WHAT to swap.

I'd join this swap if Master would unlock these damn handcuffs so I could!

i'd join if i didn't have to ass the artners

ok ok...

you all have been assed

I'd join this swap, if I didn't have so many other swaps on the go. Which is this one now - name a new planet?

I would have joined this swap but I missed it!! I loved reading all the snarky comments, anyway. Can I still get a 5 and Heart from y'all?