I would join this swap if... Round 3!

I would join this swap if there was a postal strike in my country. Oh, wait... there is.

what? just 2 of us in the swap?

i'd join if there were more people in the swap

I know. I can't believe there aren't at least 40,000 swappers signed up yet. It's been almost 30 minutes since I've posted this swap. I must be losing my touch.

LOL!! This is hysterical! Best swap I have seen!

I'd join if there weren't so many requirements. How am I supposed to have fun and be creative, but not be mean? And to require us to rate our partners is really asking too much.

Just too simple for me to join needs more requirements maybe next time.

i demanding to have 40,001 partners for this swap

I would join this swap if you have to have a 1.5 rating..... since I have a 5.0 I guess I cant !!

I would have joined if it was not international, I hate running to the post office for special stamping and tight on money as it is...

I'd join only if I can get it in writing that I get to have the worst ATC ever made sent to me...three weeks late.

How do I rate if I get a comment that looks like it was made by someone other than my partner? Is there a rule about swapping recycled comments?

I'd join if my partners give me 2 hearts each ^_^

I would join this swap if Jaichan had personaly invited me to round 2! She's a very bad and uncool host so I hope everyone will leave this swap immediately!!! It is irresponsibly and cruel to make such a great swap and don't invite everyone here on swapbot personally while riding on a parrot!!!

I agree with @siouxx05

How do I rate if I get a comment that looks like it was made by someone other than my partner? Is there a rule about swapping recycled comments?

Listen up ~ I have spent HOURS in the comment store picking the perfect materials for my perfect comment. I was up ALL NIGHT hot-gluing my comment together. I have signed the back of my comment and taken pictures. If I see any of you trying to pass off my perfect comment as your own, I'm going to ask Rachel to start a new forum category (right after FRUSTRATIONS) so I can post endless threads about how awful you are

Can't commit for now, but putting this on my WATCH list. Will decide in next 3 days if I will get off the fence ... no, wait, well, maybe I will sign up, yahhh, you betcha! I can always un-join if I reconsider and think it will be too much work ... oh, what the heck, I love all my Canuck pals on swap-bot and they got to have their entertainment, what with having no letters delivered right now ... pity the Canucks, pity them, I say! If U.S. postal workers could get any more $$ (they know better than to think they can), we in U.S. could be mail-less, too ...

I would join but I hate when my partner actually sends me something I like and it's on time, even worse is when it's sent earlier than the send by date. Oh don't rate me, please. Show a little respect for other swappers and stop being so responsible, it makes everyone look bad and grow disheartened with swap-bot!!

I prefer your comments in an envelope.

I would join but obviously nobody in this swap has a sense of humor. You people need to lighten up. Swapping is supposed to be FUN, remember?

I'd totally join this swap, but everyone posts comments that are so witty, sarcastic or spectacular in any other way, that I just don't know what to add to the discussion!

Maybe next time, but only if people stop being so god damn hilarious! >:C

I would join this swap but you mentioned the Canada postal strike. These kinds of country-specific comments in swap descriptions are very discriminatory to people in other countries who would like to contribute but feel as if they might not be eligible due to the host's bias toward one region. Please be more sensitive in the future and remember that people all over the world have good ideas to contribute.

I may have caught a grammatical error as well in the swap description. Should it be "The Canada Post"?

you mean i can't send my e-mail to canada because of the postal strike? what's that going to do to my ratings? oh poo.

and because of the strike, will you be able to send your swap out?

Changeling, it is indeed 'Canada Post'. I think the 'The' is part of the strike negotiations.

I would totally join this swap if the hostess wasn't a chef. They're the worst sort of individuals, making food and feeding people. She's just awful. I don't know how she lives with herself.

I would join this swap if it involved cats or the color purple. But it doesn't. What is wrong with you? I'd also join this swap if it was US only. Why international? Ugh, postage is so expensive.

Could you change the swap, so the comment had to be a favourite thing to cook, including a steps to make it and a photo of the finished dish, in your own kitchen. I really want to learn to cook better.

i would join if i can get a drunk, stoned glitter unicorn that farts rainbows and speaks swahili

I would join this swap but it is Saturday. Could you please post the swap on a day that is convenient for me? I do have other things to do on Saturdays. Any other day of the week works for me.

The unicorns! Please, won't someone THINK OF THE UNICORNS?

yeah, weekdays are better for me also. i only play on the computer at work when i'm supposed to be working.

wasn't there an issue with unicorns in part 2 of this swap back in december?

somebody told me that unicorns taste like chicken. is that true?

I would join this swap if someone would arrange for the pixies to come and clean my house for free. No, wait - I would join if the hostess would come herself and clean my house for free. After all she could easily swim across the pond. That is, of course, if the sharks don't get her. In that case my partners will have to be prepared to take her place so swimsuits at the ready, please. Or maybe a "yellow-polka-dot-bikini" as that song has been driving me nuts for weeks!!!!!!

Ya know, I think I would join this post if people didn't talk about unicorns. I mean, who likes unicorns? They're magical and beautiful and mystical and glittery, and apparently they also taste like chicken ... yeah, nothing to like there. So I'd join if all unicorn mentions were prohibited, and anyone with the word 'unicorn' in their comment was banned from the swap ... oh wait, that would count me out too. Hmph.

Marco.

Polo.

I would've joined if that terrible host would finally take my comment seriously. I mean, I was in Round one by coincidence. Than I asked FOR A PERFUMED INVITE for round two. Did I get one??????? NO. I still joined stressing NEXT round I'd only join when I got my PERFUMED INVITE. and here we are, @Jaichan is showing her incompetence ONCE AGAIN by not sending me my invite. seriously. I'm out.

I would like to add you should be banning @Sebastian122 for repetitive compulsive Marco-ing. otherwise I won't join. which I'm not.

How do I rate if I get a comment that looks like it was made by someone other than my partner? Is there a rule about swapping recycled comments?

Oh, and Marco.

How do I rate if I get a comment that looks like it was made by someone other than my partner? Is there a rule about swapping recycled comments?

Oh, and Marco.

Are hand made comments allowed?

I would join this swap if the hostess had offered to angel, which she hasn't, according to the swap description, and besides, she admits in the swap description that she sucks as a swap hostess, otherwise why would she say that we could comment on "why I suck as a hostess?"

If she sucks as a hostess, she probably won't screen people properly either ... after all, the swap closes tomorrow and then we only have a couple of days to send our swaps. So she doesn't have time to screen the participants before we'd have to send the swaps. Because right now there are 21 signed up and she would have to read every comment on every rating the people had ever received because otherwise how will she know whether they've ever sent late or had to re-send or whether they send enough extra glittered unicorns with their swaps (that's extra unicorns which are glittered, not extra glittery unicorns, btw - I like mine just regular glittered, but then I'm not going to join this swap for the reasons I've already said and the other reasons that I'm about to say.)

Or if she does screen them properly then she'd be busy screening participants and the send-by date would come and go and the swap would probably get cancelled.

So I would join this swap, except it will probably get cancelled anyway, so why bother?

Is hand made one word? Handmade? Looks funny. Not like funny, ha ha. But funny odd. Like a third eyeball. Are third eyeballs allowed?

What? No limits on how many can join?

I would join this swap, but I realize now that it is not clique-ish and selective enough for me -- why, it doesn't even look like you have to be a member of any hand-picked group to join! How can that be?

How many words is riffraff? Something tells me that Marco ... Polo ... knows the answer ...

I spent the day collecting comments from strangers on the bus. They were handmade, made from unicorns, made by Marco Polo, and wrapped in riffraff. Then I recycled them.

I would totally join this swap, except that I see the hostess is planning to pass off comments from strangers on the bus as her own, and I only join swaps where you have to make your own comments.

I'm sure it's only a matter of time before someone digs up or starts a thread about me and these types of swaps. Then the 'you're a monster!!!' comments will start appearing on my profile.

My family would be so ashamed of my comment recycling behaviour.

I would totally be in on this swap if the swap hostess hadn't imposed such rigorous swap requirements.

These kinds of rules smack of the oppression that has kept generations of swappers under the thumb of dictators the world over.

How can I be expected to "(leave) a comment by the time the swap has closed (even before the swap starts!)?"

Unbelievable.

you wanted someone to dig up an old thread? thanks for the idea, so here it is: old thread dug up per request

I like to think I'm more of an enlightened despot than a dictator.

oops

whoever sends to me, i want my comments be up to something michealangelo would have done, but those i send to will be getting something that my 9 1/2 month old niece would have created. and i want everything spelled correctly (my spelling doean't count).

Ooh! I should start a series of 'Do as I say, not as I do' swaps!

I would join this swap if the swap hostess would agree to angel a future swap for me that I will be flaked on. But, she needs to send it now and not wait until I've been flaked on. Oh, and it can't have any of those glittery unicorns used on it or I'm not joining.

I'm still not joining this swap, but I'm pretty sure there is an unresolved Marco (or two) hanging out there. That's another reason I'm not joining the swap. I would like the hostess to update the swap description to say that all Marco's have to be responded to, or else all subsequent commenters automatically receive a 3.

So, Polo, Polo.

BTW, Even though I'm not joining the swap, I still want to receive a 5 plus a heart for taking care of the Marco (Marco).

Polo.

The first time I typed that, my finger slipped off the "L" and I wrote "poo." I think I might join this swap but there is profanity in the comments section, and that offends my tender little ears. Oh, and you didn't outlaw men or inmates or serial killers or chronic masturbators and I definitely do not want those unsavory types having my address.

Oh also, I don't want Draco or PJ or any of the rest of you smart alecks having my address either.

I would join this swap, but I don't think the host is responding to comments. How rude. I think she should watch her swap 27/7 and respond after each comment is posted. And I can't be bothered to read this long list of comments did someone ask already if our comments can be handmade or do they have to be store bought because I live in a small town and they probably do not sell comments at the stores in my town. I know most swaps say if it's well made it's ok, just wondering who decides if it's well made or not? Do they have a committee for things like that? BTW just so my partner is aware I am allergic to o n *ions * so please do not include that in your comments or I can not join this swap. Also I don't really like the color orange so please don't use that anywhere, not even in the fine print. I once got a stamp that was an orange onion and couldn't bare to open it. Will the host of the swap angel the swap if we don't like the comments we get? If we don't get a hear can the host give us one? Oh my gosh, I just realised I am on the wrong swap anyway, I thought this swap was about glittery unicorns... I love those mystical creatures... Darn it.... Never mind

Don't know how you could watch anything 27/7... but you figure that one out lol

I hate swaps that cause you to make typos because I am so perfect, I would never misspell anything or make a typo I would join this swap, but look how it caused me to leave out the T in heart can you believe that.......

I would join, but my water heater broke and it soaked all my stamps and I can't buy more until a week from Arbor Day cause my car broke down. Plus, I hate unicorns. They are big stinky horses, but more dangerous because of the horn.

I would join this swap if duplicate profiles were allowed because I am such a wonderful person that one profile is not enough to contain all of my awesomeness. (Knowing this swap host, she will probably run tattling to Rachel now.)

Terry, you would need infinity profiles to contain your awesomeness. Right Off I go to tell on you!

Note to my partners (if I join this swap): I plan to carry out some gardening activities tomorrow. There is a slight chance that I could be struck by a random meteorite while outside in the yard. If a meteorite strike happens and it is a small meteorite or just a chunk from a meteorite, I promise to log on and rate my partners as soon as the shock wears off. If it is however, a medium to large meteorite, I may be offline for several days. I promise to rate as soon as I get back online from the meteorite strike. A large meteorite would possible also take out the computer though, and maybe the whole house. So I anticipate being away for some time if that is the case. Do not tell me I can log on at the library because the meteorite would have probably also hit the library were it that big.

Jaichan, do you think I should change my profile to alert my partners to the meteorite situation or is this note okay?

Possible=possibly in the first paragraph above. I am still a bit addled from the chunk of fallen moon rock that hit me while I was transplanting the lilacs last weekend.

Well, I know that one of the drummers of Spinal Tap died in a freak gardening accident, so you can never be too careful

Jaichan, you are right! We ALL need to PM our partners once they are assigned (if we join this swap) and tell them what we would do were we to be hit by a meteorite before being able to rate.

@changeling as part of the swap requirements, you MUST send EVERYONE who signed up a piece of that meteorite. i need a conversation piece for my apartment. all i have at the moment are dust bunnies the size of alaska.

and @quiltncat as if i would really give you my address, and that goes for the rest of you also.

perverts

If @changeling is my partner I don't want to join this swap. Meteorites are clearly NOT on my wishlist and it is incredibly rude to send someone something they don't want, even if it's a sender's choice swap. Which it does not appear to be. Just because you have meteorites to get rid of doesn't give you the right to impose them on me.

i demand to be able to pick my own artners if i should decide to join the swap

PS I have been having a fairly crappy day and I really, really appreciate each and every one of you for helping make it more bearable. You are all freaking geniuses. But I still don't want to join this swap.

I want artners. They're much easier to deal with than partners. Especially artners with antlers.

If I was going to join this swap (which I'm not ... quit bugging me!) then I would definitely want my chunk of meteorite to be sent in a padded envie, my unicorn to be sent naked, and my artner to be sent in a flat rate box. Which we don't have in Canada.

Which is another reason why I won't be joining this swap ... unless the hostess can make Canada Post start using flat rate boxes. Then I would join for sure (or not.)

This commercial for flat rate boxes makes me giggle every time I see it. I swear, if a clown like that ever shows up in my home, I will burn the house to the ground and move to a new city.

tomorrow, are you going to ass the artners the 1st secend possible or the last micro-second? need to know so i can decide whether to join or not.

oh, all this reading is for the birds, i'll join if all there is are pictures in the comment section.

Birds can read? No one told me. Hmm...are they the ones stealing my mail?

I want this and that and everything else. But of course I will be happy (sad) no matter what you send.

Assing artners isn't for the fainthearted.

I would join this swap but I have to go to the bathroom right now and getting it out would interfere too much!...Oh wait I already joined, hey can I have a 3 week extension on mailing this swap out, I would have sent on time but see my mother's cousin's next door neighbor died and I have just been too distraught about it to even think about swaps or mailing things or living up to any of my responsibilities...etc.!

while we're assing people, i want to take the mooning on the road. do we need proof that we assed people to get our "5"s? does a fuller moon get us a heart? if not, why bother joining up.

sebastian, you didn't know birds were doing more than just crapping on the newspaper on the bottom of their cages? the birds i had were always wondering why i had a habit of reading their carpet.

Well, not sure where the coordinator is however I will be happy to change the rules and allow you to have a three week extension on mailing this swap.

Well, now I'm definitely NOT joining this swap. I specifically say on my "dislikes" list that I do not like moons. I do not like them on the road, I do not like them with a toad. I do not like them on this page, I do not like them at this age. I do not like them in a car, I do not like them with a star.

Ooh, but I do like stars. I would totally join this swap if I could be guaranteed that I could get a star for it by my partners. I would also accept a glittery unicorn, because then I could harness him to the ceiling and he would look like a star. But not a moon - the moon doesn't glitter, and besides, I already told you that I don't like moons!

Sheesh! Nobody here ever listens to me. Not even @draco who keeps threatening to moon me, plus keeps pressuring me to join this swap. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, I TELL YA!

why, do you turn into a warewolf at the sight of a moon? i don't want to be in a swap with warewolves, no-siree bob.

I don't really care for warewolves but I have to say that love zombies. I don't want to join this swap until every member has been turned into a zombie. I don't want to take a chance and swap with a non-zombie. That would just be akward and wrong.

I just need to interject:

you forgot something on that glitter unicorn that was just posted, it's supposed to be farting rainbows, and have both a bong and a keg nearby

I'm still not joining but I will give a heart to @PJ for answering all those annoying Marco Thingies, but that's only if she'd stop lying about having moons on her dislike-list. she clearly does like to be mooned at, but only says she doesn't for the attention.

i also want to express my

whoops.

whow, that's going well....... I would join this swap if the host limits the amount of stupid comments one artner may make. including myself...

well i WOULD have joined IF newbies were allowed!!! but again, here goes a host with all those restrictions and non sensical "no flaking" rules... and i already had my rainbow farting unicorn all brushed up and ready to be squeezed through my usb2 port SIGH i guess ill have to miss out AGAIN because it doesnt say if newbies are allowed :(

I maybe would have joined this swap if the hostess hadn't forced me to look up the freaky gardening accident with Spinal Tap drummer. Oh, and if there weren't so many unicorns. Yuck.

Just a Warning to everyone, I joined one of those a swap a several months ago where I was suppose to recieve a glittery unicorn that pooted rainbows in exchange for a regular one eyed,one horned,flying purple, people eater. I was so excited about the swap because you know what is at the end of a rainbow...a pot of gold. Well I sent my purple people eater and when my glittery unicorn came it was the size of a chihuahua, but my partner said it was a baby. Within the first twenty four hours his horn had fallen off and most of his glitter was all over the barn. My partner said that was the post offices fault and once he was over the trip his horn would grow back and he would sparkle again. It's been a year now, no horn, no glitter. He mated with my chihuahua and none of those babies have horns either. If there is any rainbow it's brown and you can probably guess what's at the end of the rainbow. Do you think I was flaked on? Can I get some sea monkeys or some of those cool x-ray glasses in this swap?

I'd join this swap if it didn't say You do not meet the minimum rating requirement to join this swap..lamesauce..

Det står att det är" international" så jag är bara med om alla skriver kommentarer på svenska!!!

I would join this swap but there are so many stupid comments, I can't even find the end of the page!; the hostess has allowed to many participants and they should be limited to only one comment. The send by date is so close and I.know she will not assign partners quick enough. And I don't want to get you know who as my partner and the hostess has not removed her yet. If anyone is interested in doing this as a private swap please let me know.

I would join this swap but there are too many swappers and I 'm afraid of being flaked on.
The host seems a bit shady too. Imagine having a quick turn around swap during a postal strike. Tsk Tsk

I joined this swap, but I think I am going to drop out. It is very hard to find unicorns in Europe and the postage will be astronomical, if I can find one.

I would join this swap if the host offered to send cookies to all the participants - well, only if they were ginger cookies. I think it is TOTALLY wrong for a chef to start a swap and NOT offer to send cookies to everyone. Hmmm ... I suppose there are so many participants that might be difficult for her, so I'd join if she offered to send ME cookies ...

Anyway, I'm worried because there are comments which aren't in English. How am I supposed to know what they say. I migh tbe joining an anarchist conspiracy to overthrow the goverment (some government somewhere) for all I know if I can't read the comemnts, and then the police would come and take me away. It was bad enough last time when the men in white coats took me away, but I'm sure it would be worse if it was the police ...

Well, I'd join this swap if it didn't have so many unreasonable participants! And who the heck wants Ginger cookies - Yuck! Send me a good old fashioned Chocolate Chip cookie! Heck - send me 2 and I'll give you that heart you're looking for.

I would have joined the other swaps but I was too late - no fault of my own of course. It's that quick trigger hostess. How does she expect someone to join and complete a swap in just 3 days! Geez!

One other thing, make sure I get @xSugar as my partner! I want that glittery unicorn on my profile. You see I have always loved unicorns and as a teen I received them left and right for gifts. Then I grew up and threw them all away. So I think I'll start my collection again, but smaller this time. Now make sure I get that glittery unicorn - or else!

I love ginger cookies. Made with unicorns!

I don't eat mythical creatures so could you send me cinnamon sugar cookies instead? Hold the unicorn, please.

OMG! I just noticed that @xSugar hasn't even joined this swap. Now how am I gonna get that unicorn?! I just left her a threat on her profile - I'm sure she will join now! And that unicorn is MINE!

I cannot join this swap because there are just too many people...and I am still trying to perfect my fudge recipe which is taking up all my time.

Now people are demanding food and I am a lactose intolerant, gluten free, cookie hating,chocolate-makes-me-break-out, freak.

Oh but it is OK as long as they are the ones demanding food - what you should be afraid of is them forcing you to eat their food.

OMG! me, too, Megbomb! lol seriously, check my profile... giggle.

I want to only join #1 ranked swaps, so I can't do this one, yet. lol

I've made some very tasty gluten-free, lactose-free cookies. Even cookie hating freaks love them! The secret ingredient is panda.

Oh, I'll eat panda! As long as you use agave nectar to sweeten it. I don't want the sugar spike.

I would join this swap, but it doesn't have enough ninjas in it...or at least, I can't see any... hmmm... I think they should be purple sparkly ninjas so we can see them...

also, sparkly apples for megbomb, since she's intolerant...

and I still didn't get my fudge from Jaichan for the previous rounds... of course, it needs to be sent in a cooler,so I don't get melted fudge. and the ice packs used to keep it cool better not sweat... or the package itself, because I don't like ice sweat... it makes me feel icky... it doesn't sparkle enough... not even if you add glitter...

I would join this swap except, once again I see glittery unicorns and while I don't have anything against unicorns, I don't want glitter. Plus, someone was bashing unicorns, calling them dangerous when they can't even fly and people are starting to trade recipes for panda. Which is not in the requirements. I don't think extras should be included in this swap because its so hard to meet the requirements already. There isn't enough interest in polo, and I haven't seen an answer to the question "How do I rate if I get a comment that looks like it was made by someone other than my partner? Is there a rule about swapping recycled comments?" Marco

AND, I'm not allowed to play with arnters.

Marco.

We have a 2yr old in the house so I would appreciate no unicorns from my partner. I don't need to be house training one and potty training the other. But we do love cookies. Oh and no assing either, she'll learn that as soon as she goes to school. Thanks.

I'm at a pool party for ONE DAY and come back to see all this unicorn insanity; it just ridiculous that the hostess hasn't reported all of you. Just another reason to NOT give her a star, geez.

I also think that she should kick off everyone BUT those of us who came on early, serves you all right for not belonging to this exclusive non-group group.

No more rainbow poot talk either, ya darn unicorn loving hippies.

I would join this swap if I had a sense of humor.

I would join this swap but I resent the fact that Jaichan is taking all the credit for the postal strike in Canada. I have two letters waiting to be mailed to Canada and because I seldom have mail going there it must certainly have something to do with something I did or didn't do.

I already sent this swap out three weeks ago. It must have got lost in the mail.

Dear hostess, Not to find fault with your swap but couldn't the rating be a little lower. This is a newbie friendly swap if i ever saw one and even a low rated person should be able to handle this one. Come on --give those flakers a chance to come out of the woodwork.

I would join this swap if I was not so tired from staying awake all night at our local Cancer Relay For Life on Friday June 17th. Slept all day Saturday and I am still tired. My legs hurt from all the walking and my fingers hurt from holding my mega cup of tea while I walked - so I am having trouble hitting the keyboard.

I am also suffering from mail withdrawal symptoms - even went to my mailbox on Thursday - forgot there was NO MAIL IN CANADA!

Will I get mail soon?

Just logging in to report that I have not yet been hit by a meteorite. I have not been outside gardening yet though today.

I wont join this swap because there could be panda hair in those cookies, not that I have any allergies to fur it's just annoying to get it stuck in between the teeth..

I think there has been a lingering marco today...so polo.

ดังนั้น swap นี้ได้กลายเป็นเครื่องว่างมั้ย? ไม่มีใครคิดที่จะชวนผม? Rude! วิธี!

and all my food NEEDS to be diabetic friendly, as if i follow that kind of a diet anyway (much to my doctor's dislike)

marco, marco, marco, mmaarrccoo, mArCo, MaRcO

oh, and i'm still waiting for my brad pitt from round 2. I WAS FLAKED ON!!!

I think draco might be under age. Did you all notice her mix of caps and lower case?

And I think I'm going to drop from this swap. Artners haven't been assigned yet and there's the possibility I'll be going out of town before they are. I'd hate for my artner to think I'm a flaker. (And have you noticed no one gives hearts on these kind of swaps? I have. And I want hearts, darn it! Pretty shiny ones, with real blood and everything.)

sebastian, my age was supposed to be our little secret--SNITCH-

as for the hearts, you should have said something about it in the middle of feb. while i still had access to hearts.

i'm dropping out of this swap because there's just too many picky people that signed up, each demanding something different, so i'll leave you with your fingers up your noses mining for treasures.

I don;t like hearts they are too expensive to get I would join this swap if you give me 100 hearts

polo...

I would join this swap if it wasn't a copy of the first two swaps. I mean, honestly, how uncreative is it to set up another version of this swap?? I need some time to think about joining or not....

In the meantime please keep in mind that if you get me as your partner I absolutely DO NOT accept comments written in CAPITAL LETTERS. I'M HIGHLY ALLERGICAL TO CAPITAL LETTERS. IT IS RUDE AND IT HURTS MY EYES AND I WILL LEAVE YOU A RATING SIGNED WITH THE TAIL OF A DEAD RAT! Oh and no recycled comments. And no comments for me with lots of vowels. m llrgc t vwls s wll. Thnk y.

do rainbow farts smell like skittles?

Allergical. That is my favourite word for the day. I am also allergical to ALL CAPS IN POSTS. WHY CAN'T ANY OF YOU GET WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY?

I would join this swap ONLY if the constipated pleather wearing unicorn stripper farts TROPICAL rainbow Skittles and ONLY if Johnnie Depp delivers it to @masterbard while dressed in his Captain Jack Sparrow costume from the first Pirates of the Carribean...

NO I CAN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CAN YOU EXPLAIN IT BETTER???????????????????????????

i can't believe i actually went on Google Images and searched for unicorn male stripper...i've never done anything like that before...

Hahaha! That is all kinds of wrong. The look on its face is killing me.

Why is everyone shouting at me, don't you like me?

Now I feel silly, the conversation moved on when I was typing. That image is scary....

I would join this swap but the purple assless chaps on the guy above are kinda freakin me out. I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that they are assless or that his tushy is painted to match?? LOL.

@AynE You seriously want us to believe you've never looked up male strippers before???

my last comment is how my swap better be hand delivered to me. there's no problem getting a boat close to my house, i live a block away from the fox river and a block beyond that, lake winnesewage (oops, lake winnebago)

Well maybe I'm not allergical but metallurgical. Sounds better.

sorry for posting this late, but this is for you @pj

oops, maybe that isn't a moon

I'm not sure I'm qualified to join this swap. My therapist suggested that I only join swaps I understand, and I'm sure he would agree that I'm not smart enough to get this one. So do I get all of the comments in the mail, or just my partner's, or what? Or is it email? Or is it through telepathy to same postage and bypass the whole Canada thing? Either way, I've joined. When I tell my therapist at my afternoon session, he may try to "suggest" that I unjoin. Or disjoin. Or conjoin. But I won't. Even if he has to tie me up again. What a fun swap!

Well, I think this swap is just outrageous. So many requirements, too many demanding partners, I mean, how am I expected to find 5! Names out of all these comments? No, I really think the hostess has missed a trick here, she should personally hand deliver a sparkly unicorn with a picture of johnny depp attached to it's side to every one of us. That's really the only way I'd join. Oh, but the unicorn would have to have legwarmers on, pink and orange please, but not woollen cos I'm allergical to it, cos even the it's June it's a big nippy in the uk. Only then will I join this swap. Oh. And Polo.

Oops, a bit nippy, NOT a big nippy. Sorry. Lol. DYAC!

at least you're not a bit drippy or worse, a big drip. oh wait, i just remembered, you is, you is

I was fresh out of panda and unicorn, so I made this for dinner instead. I added toasted cashews and served it over basmati rice. It was delicious. It was no panda, but it was pretty good.

seriously @sebastian122 I have NEVER done a search on male strippers before and this one only because it was the only way to located the unicorn guy, @RyeRye posted the picture in a story thread last year at the same time round 2 of this swap was going on. We tried to give him away as part of the swap but there weren't any takers...(I wonder why) and I don't think that is his tushy painted to match the pants, I think that is all pants....

And I would join this swap if someone would give the Unicorn guy a good home, somewhere far, far away....

Marco....

Polo!

I would consider joining this swap if my glittery unicorn came with a side order of John Cusack rather than Johnny Depp, as I'm allergical to Johnny Depp, although I am not allergical to ginger cookies and it would be great if John Cusack came with a good recipe for those.

However, if I did join the swap then I would have to rate a 1 if I got @AynE s purple pleather a**less chaps unicorn rather than the glittery moonlight unicorn that @xSugar is offering in this tag thread. This is a tag thread, right? Can someone confirm if it is PIB or PIF, and how I find out who I send to?

But actually, I won't be joining this swap because @xSugar already gave me a glittery unicorn on my profile and you can only keep one in each betta bowl or else they fight. Plus, @draco mooned me and despite what @pippelotje says, I don't like mooning. I used to have it on my dislike list, but then someone sent me a moon and I didn't want them to feel bad, so I took it off my profile. But I'm sure the S-B detectives can find a cached version of my profile with it on there to prove that I'm not lying.

I would join this swap, but it seems to mock pirates and unicorns, no one ever gives those two a break, it's descrimination I tell you! DESCRIMINATION!!!! If you want to know the real culprit, it's those cupcakes... sitting there thinking they are so light and fluffy, so sweet... well they are NOT sweet, they are little piles of teeth rotting goodness, and how dare they think they are light! What? Do cupcakes think it's alright to make us gain weight and just sit there looking small and delicate. So I'm not joining this swap until all the unicorn haters are BANNED, and the evils of cupcakes are brought to... light...

Also the The Society For The Protection of Unicorn Guys New Zealand is willing to take Unicorn Guy of your hands. I think we fall into the catigory of "Far, far away" It's in our post code even... "North Island, New Zealand, Far, far away."

I would join this swap but it's the 19th and artners have not been assigned yet. I have been waiting ALL DAY so I could get started, but NO....

I also gardened a tiny bit this afternoon and managed to escape a meteorite so far. Unfortunately I have to go back out there so if I disappear after artners are assigned, look for the legs sticking out from under the big smoldering rock in my front yard. I live in the sort of podunk desert freak town that would actually have a meteorite land in it, didn't someone make a movie about that once?

for you who are demanding cupcakes:

Well, I was just starting to consider joining this swap but then @quiltncat said that her partners might find her with her legs sticking out from a meteorite, and you see, I'm really scared of Dorothy with that evil blue dress and those braids of hers, and her little dog too (well, ok, Toto is kinda cute) and I'm afraid she might join the swap looking for the ruby red slippers if she sees anyone's legs sticking out from something that has crushed them.

So you see, I can't join the swap because of the Dorothy situation. Not that I would have anyway, what with @draco posting pictures of everything that people don't like, especially when people clearly have those things on their dislike list, like @FluffyButtons does with cupcakes and I do with moons and Dorothy, as long as you look at the cached version of my profile. I'm sure you understand my reasons.

Ahem. John Cusack is one of my future ex-husbands. Back off.

I would join this swap except for the fact that the hostess is making threatening comments to me over the fact that John Cusack loves me and will never ever ever be her ex-husband because once he meets me he is going to handcuff himself to me and throw the key in the ocean so that he never has to be separated from me ever ever again.

um, I really wanted to join this swap and since @FluffyButtons is going to give Unicorn Boy a good home, far, far away. I heard that your country's most famous sheep died recently so perhaps you could free range Unicorn Boy.... but then there are the moonies and I really don't like them, they are all sort of thin and pastry white, and I need to avoid sugar shock. In fact, it is probably not a meteor, but someone crashing from having eaten 121 cupcakes in rapid succession so I can only join this swap IF Jaichan divorces John Cusack before she marries him and PJ finds a home far, far away for the moonies (Marco) and someone does something about the sugar shock before we eat the cupcakes.

I am with quiltincat - No oz stuff here please - but I do have a pair of red sparkly shoes for trade. Also no meteorites in Canada please we have enough problems - I have tiny maple trees growing all over my garden - will sell those for a toonie - pickup in Ontario on Wednesday at midnight - don't want my neighbours getting in on the money

I would join this swap if the hostesses swap name had the word "pink" or "queen" was in her swapbot name, since I think everyone should be just like me.... I would have joined the swap anyways, but it's international and I cannot afford the postage.

I would join this swap, but now it's just too much reading, and these are just the "comments." Marco P. (his choice of nickname, not mine) has been in touch with me and warned me that this is the swap that never ends ...

It just goes on and on, my friend...

i was going to join until I was totally offended by the unicorn asschaps.. have him poop rainbows though, and I might consider it.

i would consider joining if someone tells me where the send key was. i don't have one of those buttons on my keyboard. i also want an "f-u" botton.

where's waldo? and where's the beef?

Another reason I might have joined this swap but won't is because I'm afraid I may receive something that may have the residual of a stray strand of cat that has brushed ever so gently on the corner of the envelope. I am DEATHLY allergic and so are all of my 17 children and I simply cannot risk my or their health with such a dangerous possibility...won't happen

Waldo, like the cow, is outstanding in his field....

Still waiting for my hearts.....

I would join this swap if there weren't so many useless, convoluted, wordy, idiotic, nonsensical, whiny, ingratiating, ridiculous and utterly insane comments to read through!

And why is it taking you so long to assign partners?

well, artners are assed, but it's still yeaterday here

what kind of cheese and crackers does everybody want with their "whine"? there's plenty of cheese here in wisconsin, but if you cut the cheese, make sure i'm safely far away from you

I would join this swap if, crap! I did join and now artners have been assed--is that unicorn boy the assed part? and really (polo), how do I rate if I get a comment that looks like it was made by someone other than my partner? Is there a rule about swapping recycled comments? marco

polo

why you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking NERF-HERDER!!!

i changed my mind, i demand everything. i want it all and i want it now!

how do I rate if I get a comment that looks like it was made by someone other than my partner? Is there a rule about swapping recycled comments?

I would totally join this swap, maybe, if You do not meet the minimum rating requirement to join this swap.. did not just slap me in the face. Besides, I'm eating banana ice cream and all this talk of unicorns is making me crave cupcakes! Beef? I'll take a LambChop please! Also, for the record, Marco.

I would join this swap, but there aren't enough varieties of cheeses to go with my whine... and no one offered crackers! I want colby/jack blend and toasteds wheat crackers...but I don't want them sitting alone! there must be 102 other types of cheese, and at least 6 types of crackers surrounding mine... but no more or less than 102 cheese varieties... plus, I've had to edit this comment to get everything spelled and spaced right, and will probably still get one wrong. that is far too work much for one swap! I should not be required to do so much typing when I whine! ... now... where's my wine? oh... and, marco...

and also, someone got marco before me! that's not fair!

polo...

I cannot possibly join now! There is WAY to much talk of cheese and my husband is allergical to milk and me reading these comments is making him sick. And whine makes me tipsy and I start seeing bare assed unicorns!

Here ye, here ye, let it be known that ^^^^ is a post killer and should therefore be banned from this swap before she even joins :)

so, when does "round 4" start?

Well, I would join this swap if it weren't hosted by a Canadian, not enough diversity for me! They talk just like Minnesotans and Alaskans AND with the postal strike, got way too much of that time on their hands, how's that working out for you, newh ...

ok ok lets all join and say we didn't and realy confuse our hostess. he he he. I would join if I did not have more time on my hands. So many swaps to finish, to many trips to the PO, turn the comp on turn the comp off, making cards, atc's, writing postcards, doing crafts to send, collecting profile surprises, not to mention HOUSE WORK ug. I agree with @kat1982 I might have joind if there were not too many partners on here complaing about the little things.....Oh Im one of them!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I'm being flaked on. And the comments I've read don't meet the swap requirements. I'm ratin' everyone a 1 until I get my own Johnny Cusuak Depp!

I would rate my artners but scrolling past unicorn boy to find their comments traumatizes me.

I'm at work, so had to scroll FAST. I share your pain, @Changeling

dulcimer-- I would rate you a 5 with a heart for the hostess coment genius and a 5 on the swap excuse

spinjenny --I love you coments about taking you off in a white hopefully they won;t find you this time LOl I give you a 5 with a heart

angkb--I love chocolate chip cookies also but unicorns that leave things get real I will still give you a 5 and a heart you have a great imagination

Is there a rule about multiple postings?

Oh wow! I just found this swap, and I would totally have joined if I'd seen it in time!

dulcimer-- I would rate you a 5 with a heart for the hostess coment genius and a 5 on the swap excuse

spinjenny --I love you coments about taking you off in a white hopefully they won;t find you this time LOl I give you a 5 with a heart

angkb--I love chocolate chip cookies also but unicorns that leave things get real I will still give you a 5 and a heart you have a great imagination

dulcimer-- I would rate you a 5 with a heart for the hostess coment genius and a 5 on the swap excuse

spinjenny --I love you coments about taking you off in a white hopefully they won;t find you this time LOl I give you a 5 with a heart

angkb--I love chocolate chip cookies also but unicorns that leave things get real I will still give you a 5 and a heart you have a great imagination

i'm still looking for my purfumed invetation to join this swap. oh, it's probably still sitting at the post office in canada. DAMN

@draco last thing I heard is that Unicorn boy is on his way to you with that invitation..

dulcimer-- I would rate you a 5 with a heart for the hostess coment genius and a 5 on the swap excuse

spinjenny --I love you coments about taking you off in a white hopefully they won;t find you this time LOl I give you a 5 with a heart

angkb--I love chocolate chip cookies also but unicorns that leave things get real I will still give you a 5 and a heart you have a great imagination

dulcimer-- I would rate you a 5 with a heart for the hostess coment genius and a 5 on the swap excuse

spinjenny --I love you coments about taking you off in a white hopefully they won;t find you this time LOl I give you a 5 with a heart

angkb--I love chocolate chip cookies also but unicorns that leave things get real I will still give you a 5 and a heart you have a great imagination

YAY! CUPCAKES!!

I would join this swap, but all the repetitive comments I have been reading have made my head spin so much, it actually came off its axis, and is now spinning like a top, all by itself next to me as I type this! I have therefore been typing just like a chicken with its head cut off. I know that some of you may not like this mental image, but this is what you've done to me --- and all for the love of a swap!

"Truth is" this swap has just fed into my compulsive lying and now I am going to check myself into rehab before anyone notices. Just remember, rehab is MY idea ... I'm Lou and I seem to be a compulsive liar [and I can just picture all of you, nodding your heads, saying hello to me and welcoming me to the fold]

is unicorn boy's flying "rainbow fart propelled"?

If I made cupcakes out of a unicorn boy by-product, would they be considered Soylent Purple Cupcakes?

I would join this swap but someone already rated me and I am very allergical to bare derriere's unless I have a hypodermic needle full of pleather grow in my hand....

I honestly wouldn't have joined this swap if I knew I was going to be continually hounded for a rating from the minute swap partners were assigned... it sucks.

draco--I would love to rate a million 5's with heart you have did yourself I really loved everything you wrote and couldn;t wait until you were on again to see what you had thought of next you sound like a fun person and I can;t wait for round 4 either

the Hostess gets a 5 heart also and a million stars to have thought of something that everyone could participate in and enjoy all the wild things someone could thank of Please do another round it was a blast to read all the should of dones LOL

couldn't find rockyhorrorgerri will rate you when I find your post

I found your post rockyhorrorgerri that is a very good reason , I will give you a 5 sorry I couldn;t find you I guess I was over whelmed by draco sorry for the delay

I would join this swap but it is just too much work to have to read comments, and then actually follow-through and rate partners!!! Think I'd rather herd cats ...