There are THREE R's in Mrrranda! If you emailed me and it bounced, please check your spelling!

Here's what 2022 has been like for me, as of June:

• the cat I've had for 20 yrs, almost to the day, dies in my arms
• after raising our rent ~10%, the new corporate slumlords that bought my apt complex start issuing no-cause evictions two at a time (they also flake on maintenance issues, intermittently shut off the water with no notice, and temporarily remove all laundry appliances with no notice
• I get COVID
• the mail starts to go missing, our items are delivered to apts across the street, incoming mail arrives weeks (sometimes over a month) late
• my father is hospitalized three times; in mid-May he has a pretty bad sudden memory lapse and drs find hardening of the arteries in his brain; in June he goes back to the ER
• I'm on intermittent FMLA for increasingly severe migraines that come with flashing light auras, dizziness, and nausea that last for hours, sometimes days
• my blood pressure frequently gets dangerously high
• I have six or seven med changes re: to the conditions mentioned above, as well as depression, PTSD, and early menopause, and every change comes with a new configuration of side effects
• in late May, my partner of 7 yrs ditches me through ghosting after I express anger at his refusal to marry
• my workplace, a low-income mental health clinic, hemorrhages staff as we burn out; starting in late May, I am covering two open positions as well as maintaining my own
• WHO WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT MENOPAUSAL SYMPTOMS, TOO?

Well shit pickles, now there's a 1 on my profile for an unsent swap! I have asked my partner for more time and even sent screenshots of correspondence to my ex, my parents, and one of my doctors. NO REPLY

I AM DOING THE BEST I CAN I AM DOING THE BEST I CAN I AM DOING THE BEST I CAN

F F S

I AM DOING THE BEST I CAN

I've had a couple things go missing in the past few months, haven't received a couple, and had a couple arrive literally a month late. Give me a poke if you're missing a swap from me!

Generally speaking: non-monetary commerce, scrap/recycled materials art, temporary autonomous zones, alexithymia, cabinets of curiosities, botched taxidermy, stop-motion animation, making monsters, making messes, unauthorized installations, unsafe toys, unrequited love, unintentional surrealism, the uncanny valley, koyaanisqatsi, beautiful trees, scary trees, sleeping in trees, seed pods, skeleton leaves, bugs that look like plants, psychopomps, milagros, hearts, hands, eyes, tiny organic ephemera, kittens, foxes, bats, birds of prey, little creepy-crawlies, deep sea creatures, lovely March hares, Golden Nature Guides, cicada recipes, horror manga, Drinky Crow, Angela Carter, Joseph Cornell, Ernst Haeckel, Tim Hawkinson, Hans Bellmer, Kiki Smith.

Often a day or two will pass before I read (or am even aware of) PMs or emails. I try to respond within 24 hours, but please allow at least two days for me to answer PMs and/or emails.

Feeling angelic? I got the flakes, and I don't mean dandruff:

• Indie Coffee, Music & Art Swap- U.S. ONLY from Mehgan

Most overtly religious stuff makes me very uncomfortable - PLEASE DO NOT SEND IT. I'm ok with some occult/pagan themes and I appreciate Inuit, Buddhist, Bon, and some Hindu art on an aesthetic level. Don't wear perfume or much make-up, currently well-stocked on lotion and lip gloss. Not interested in most girly-pastel or cutesy-wootsey stuff, but I get a kick out of kawaii things that veer into insanity (Beer-Chan, Nyan Nyan Nyanko). Love indie and experimental animation, especially Lotte Reiniger and Ladislas Starevich.

If you're getting a journal or story or even a list from me, it won't be a Tourette's-like stream of profanity, but yeah, there might be some cursing and weird slang - I tend to write how I talk.

On the evening of Jan 9, 2022, my longhair tuxedo cat named Mr. Friendly passed away, held in his favorite blanket, being told - over and over - that he was loved. He was twenty-one and a half years old. Be good to your pets.

For sweets swaps: much love for coffee, green tea, marzipan, dark chocolate, peanut butter, ginger, durian, pumpkin, sweet potato, lavender, rose hips, hazelnut, maple, Meiji Apollo strawberry chocolates, Trolli strawberry puffs, Kinder Hippos, boozy cordials. Most big-brand American chocolates don't do much for me (seriously - BOYCOTT NESTLE), but I like peanut butter cups. I like old-school clove gum, too! Please, no black licorice/anise or suuuuuper-sugary stuff (Pixie Stix, rock candy).

For tea swaps: lapsang souchong, green (esp. genmai cha), and "sweet" flavored black teas, like vanilla, hazelnut, maple, etc. For fall and winter, I like orange- and apple-spice teas. That being said, pretty much anything except licorice/anise tea would be cool.

Cooking is a lot of fun to me. I love kneading dough, mixing by hand, and food that's meant to be set on fire. Sometimes I set a dishcloth or potholder on fire too - you know, just for yuks! I like Asian (especially Japanese and Thai), Indian, and starchy, buttery "comfort" foods like mac 'n' cheese. I'm an omnivorous opportunist, but I'm trying to be more conscious of locally-grown and free-range choices. I'm sorry that I got fat - I will slim down. I've happily eaten mealworms and cicadas, and I love durian - yes, REALLY. I have a small but treasured collection of 1950's cookbook-pamphlets, most featuring medleys of once-edible objects embedded in aspic.

My favorite color is static, but I also like black, wine/cranberry/ruby reds, greens (most shades but esp deep/hunter tones), amber, bronze, orange, dark/chocolate browns, earth tones in general.

Foetus/J.G. Thirlwell, Firewater, Calexico, Godspeed You Black Emperor, Yma Sumac, Susumu Yokota, Amon Tobin, P. Miles Bryson, The Caretaker, Martin Denny, Steve Reich, The Residents, The Tiger Lillies, The Misfits, Mandible Chatter, Red Fang, Neptunian Maximalism, Godflesh, Zeal & Ardor, Lingua Ignota, Yellow Eyes, Oranssi Pazuzu, Alda, Federale, 1920-40s jazz, the bottle return at Meijer Thrifty Acres, and every single slightly-malfunctioning gaudy automaton at House on the Rock. I have little soft spots for accordions and singing saws, much like fontanelles.

I have a radio show called "Spider in the Ear" on Freeform Portland. I really like my radio show! I would really like it if you would like my radio show on Facebook, and/or listen to some episodes on Mixcloud.

Fun fact: I once charmed my way into a sold-out Sixteen Horsepower show by presenting the band with a fresh-baked strawberry-rhubarb pie.

The Holy Mountain, Cat Soup, Tamala 2010, Hausu, The Mascot, Street of Crocodiles, The Abominable Dr. Phibes, Akira, Alice, Conspirators of Pleasure, The Devils, Black Lizard, Blue Velvet, Guy Maddin, Hayao Miyazaki, Masaaki Yuasa, Ray Harryhausen, Godzilla and his kin. Not favorites, but most recently impressed by The Wailing and The Lighthouse.

As much as I love horror movies, modern ones like Wolf Creek, Saw, etc. are so mean-spirited and focused on realistic suffering that they really put me off. Sorry, kids - I just don't "get" the torture porn explosion, and it troubles me.

Perhaps incongruously, I dig some brutal art-house offerings and ludicrous Grand Guignol/grindhouse stuff... and that first prison yard fight scene in Riki-O cracks me up every time.

I also don't like movies that expect me to be REALLY @#!% EXCITED by cars.

The Singing Detective, The Venture Brothers, Cowboy Bebop, Kemonozume, The Misadventures of Flapjack, Adventure Time, (the original) The Prisoner, (the original) Iron Chef, Green Porno, Food Party, Stairway to Stardom, Twin Peaks. My partner and I both like to work with background noise, so there's often anime or MST3K or Great British Baking Show mumbling away while we cut or glue or paint.

The Stain by Rikki DuCornet, The Mouse And His Child by Russell Hoban, Roadside Picnic by Arkady and Boris Strugatsky, The Gas by Charles Platt, Image of the Beast by Philip Jose Farmer, Angela Carter, Ray Bradbury, Leonora Carrington, the poet Ai. Hoban's Riddley Walker gives me a vaguely precognitive hinx.

I'm not as voracious a comic book reader as I once was, but over the last few years I've liked Fatale, Revival, Monstress, My Favorite Thing Is Monsters, Kitaro, Berserk, Claymore, MPD Psycho, and I Am a Hero. I love most of Junji Ito, Kazuo Umezu, Shintaro Kago, and Hideshi Hino's work, if you have recs in that vein please send 'em! When I need a break from trippy, blood-soaked nihilism, I turn to Andy Runton's charming, all-ages comic Owly.

Cookbooks, books on sustainable living and DIY, surrealist and decadent lit are always welcome. As you've probably guessed, romance, mainstream mystery/thrillers, Chicken Soup, and novels about 30-something-onwards women coming to terms with... things... are not.

Mixed media, papercutting, collage, shadowboxes/assemblage, handbuilt ceramics, dodgy wee beasties, surrealist party games, trepanning, paper mache. I don't crochet, knit, or quilt, but I'm good at hand sewing and stitch up a stuffie now and then.

I enjoy making ATCs, but usually more than I enjoy receiving them! I might be up for a one-on-one ATC swap, but if you want one from me, feel free to offer other things in trade too.

Wanna trade snacks? The Portland area has a couple excellent, large Asian and Eastern European supermarkets, and a few delightful teahouses that sell loose tea. If you want mainly Japanese stuff (rather than Chinese or SE Asian), it might take a little longer to get as the best place requires a trip to the 'burbs.

I've had... really bad luck with some "profile surprises," so I strongly prefer to set up swaps for specific items. I'm open to suggestions, but please run 'em by me before sending. Here are some safe bets:

• gift cards to Fred Meyer, Safeway, or Trader Joe's - not a very fun wish, but a sincere one.
• LEDs or short lengths of El-wire suitable for customized light boxes. Or short strings of "fairy lights" like these. Think you have something? Better yet, think you can make me some wall-mountable light boxes? PM me, let's discuss a trade or sale.
• X-acto or scalpel blades, NIP please
• ephemeral oddments from the woods, fields, and sea: seed pods, skeleton leaves, strange seashells, intact insects (or carefully packaged butterfly/moth wings), tiny bones and teeth
• field recordings you made yourself, or any unusual field recordings, like the amazing collections of bats, deer, and frogs on the Sittelle label, or walk-throughs of amusement parks or Bangkok markets
• pretty much anything from Sublime Frequencies
• Tamala 2010 merch
• Nyan Nyan Nyanko or Neko no Panya stuff
• or make a donation to Freeform Portland or the IPRC!

If you want to do a one-on-one swap, and you have something I haven't mentioned but you think I'd like, just PM me.