Jailbird

If you are love the shanks please "like" my page on Facebook (copy and paste the URL)http://www.facebook.com/pages/Paper-Shanks/117097314990039?sk=wall - you will be entered in to a drawing for a free card!

I'm famous (not so much) for my Paper and Dirty Shank cards. I dream of a book contract and then, of course a movie deal where Sandra Bullock will play me.

I have been published in Paper Works, Stampers Sampler and Take Ten.

II love to laugh - I laugh a lot, and I laugh loudly. I find humor in everything. My glass is always half full. I believe laughter sparkles like sunshine.

Married 29 years - my husband gets the Congressional Medal of Honor for putting up with me for this long - he is a patron saint.... I am the anti-Christ.

5 kids. I always wanted a big family. Yes they all have the same father. They will pay your social security in the future so don't you dare judge me.

Serial killers, legal thrillers, legal trials, pretty much anything to do with courts and the legal system!

I believe in the power of pixie dust and love Tinkerbell and fairies.

Most of my cards are my signature 5 1/2 square size - it costs a little bit more to mail them, but I think it makes them unique and no one ever thinks they are junk mail and throws them out.

The smell of cinnamon.

I love this quote by Marilyn Monroe "Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."

The ocean, sea, beach, river, stream, lake - just put me by the water.

I love Dr. Seuss, especially the book "Oh, The Places You'll Go!

Tulips and Daisies - "don't you think they are just the friendliest flowers?"

Purple is my favorite color, I also like rich jewel tones.

Polka dot ribbons. Who am I kidding...? Polka dot anything.

Anne Taintor (who doesn't?)

Retro books or board games pieces, cards, etc. Clue, Get out of jail free cards, bones from the Operation game etc.

Tarot cards; especially the Devil - for my art, not because I am hoping for a one way ticket to hell.

Pictures of witches, anything from the Salem Witch Trials. I like the real witches, the kind that you might drop a house on.

Funny Bumper stickers and pictures and signs.

I Dream of Jeannie and Bewitched.

Voodoo dolls and ouija boards - very cool, especially if they are miniature. Anything naughty, dark, ghetto, mystical, or fabulous. I like to be surprised with something I wouldn't normally buy and find a use for it.

Inspirational quotes, sayings, or words, but nothing religious! I like the things that inspire you to be a better person, treat others with respect, or kindness, be the best you can be, etc. etc.

WHAT? I can't be dark and brooding all the time, I have a lighter side :)

"Verbally incontinent spinsters who drink like a fish, smoke like a chimney, and dress like their mother. "

Flat stickers (you heard me right?)

Christian/Religious things - when I walk in the sand I don't see footprints.

Floral or woodsy or spicy scents of any kind!

Living in the desert.

Flimsy card stock but I don't care if you use it.

Animation crap - I just don't get it.

Drama queens.

Movies that suck.

Girls that poop.

Winter, snow and anything cold including ice cream and dead bodies.

Popcorn stuck in my teeth.

People that don’t play nice.

Cleaning out the litter box.

Public group or forum meltdowns. If you don't like someone, move on. There is no reason to gather your forces and start a war.

Cartoons, Family Guy, The Simpsons, cartoons of any kind. My idea of hell is to be forced to watch cartoons all day with screaming animals and children. “What would Scooby do?” I don’t care.

Card making - triple heart love it.

Did I mention that I love it?

I have a line of cards called Paper Shanks and Dirty Shanks that I sell on Etsy. I like to overestimate my talents and over price my cards.

I am infatuated with paper dolls. I've never made one, but I find them fascinating.

I'm just beginning to learn this weird photo jewelry crap - I will let you know how it goes. {update - so far not so great}

I am going to dabble in ATC's - wish me luck

Candy bar sliders, anything for the holidays that will hold candy.

I love my Cricuit and my Cuttlebug - I use them all the time.

Just learning to use digital stamps - kind of cool - but not sure I am sold on them yet

Parks and Rec - I aspire to be like April.

Flipping Out - is there anyone more shankier than Jeff Lewis? I think not.

The Office

Modern Family

Real Housewives of _____________ (fill in the city)...

I love Weeds. I realize I can't have the life of Mary Louise Parker in that show because ........ well, I would get arrested and lose my job ... Oh, but I wish I looked that hot in a sundress.

Basically anything on Bravo - I am a reality TV addict.

I have been on SB for a relatively short time. In that time, I think I have seen more melt-downs, questions, accusations and verbal fist-fights over the swap ratings.

I realize that many of you will disagree about my policies - that is okay, I'm not offended but I will invite you not to swap with me. I do this for fun, and I don't need swap-bot drama.

MY OFFICIAL POLICY ABOUT SWAPPING IS: I will always assume you are a kind, generous, responsible person. I will NEVER EVER accuse you of being a deep, dark, anti-social person with evil intentions about swapping, until you prove otherwise.

I do my best work I hope you will do the same.

I rate the swaps I receive as soon as possible - this might not be the day it arrives in my hands. Please chill out about that.

If you send it and I receive it; you get a FIVE.

If it makes me go WOW when I open it up and I scream and run to show my family, friends co-workers and strangers on the street; you get a HEART.

The date I mark my swaps SENT is often NOT going to be the same date they are POSTMARKED, and I'll tell you why.

I mark my items SENT as soon as they leave my hands. This means when I give my package to my hubby to mail.

That being said; I'm not a stickler on send by dates even though it is in the swap requirements . I give you a very gracious grace period. If it arrives, that's cool. I don't have time to flitter about and check out if people are sending things by the send date or if the date they marked it sent, is the same day it is postmarked.

Pity hearts are given at my discretion. If you really have the unmitigated gall to message me to ask why I didn't give you a heart, I probably won't respond. but I may give you a pity heart for being so pathetic that you base your self esteem on getting hearts on a public forum board by someone that you will never ever meet in person.

However, If you bitch about it on the PF you just lost any shot to get a pity heart.

My favorite is To Kill a Mockingbird

I also like anything by John Grisham.

Non-fiction about courts, trials, serial killers, anything to do with the legal system.

My Grandfather's Blessing

Kitchen Table Wisdom