Holocaust Butterfly Project email rating edition

Wow. While I agreed that you could replicate my swap, it was on the understanding that you were going to run it in some of your groups, not publicly.

I also asked that, if you did decide you wanted to run one publicly, that you not post it until after mine had closed, given that we have until December to send in the butterflies.

Of course, by not being exactly happy about the way you have handled this, it makes me look like the selfish one now, doesn't it?

Oh, and in our discussions, you also said that you would join my swap as well as your own.

Wow again.

And if you delete my comments, I have made a copy of them as well as your swap, and will post it in the PFs so everyone knows what went on.

Oops, my sincerest apologies - I got this all wrong. You are not the person who talked to me about doing the same swap. No, you just went ahead and did it without even asking me. Double wow.

Totally uncouth.

Terry I know you may be upset, I understand how you feel. Remember that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and while you may not be happy that someone did this it is an email swap which some people prefer.

Also you inspired someone, and its for a good cause! You started the ball rolling :)

I'm thinking about joining both swaps just so I can show off my pretty butterflies from your swap to other users on swap-bot :)

I am saddened by the idea that someone feels they OWN an idea for a swap. And then to put them on the spot for wanting to do a different variation on it, one that may be better suited to other people and to call them out for it. There are hundreds of swaps for teas and for post cards and for ATCs all very much the same as the next and sometimes in close proximity of dates. You don't see a bunch of others getting their knickers in a knot. So somehow there is ownership with this one? Seems to me someone wants their name in lights, not to have a good time and share with others. There was no need for all those comments here. They could have been reserved for a private message (and really were not needed at all private or public). And to say that she can't erase the messages you left.... That's power tripping at it's finest. Seems to me I chose the right swap out of the two. A good attitude, turning the other cheek, and letting people do their own thing goes a long way. There should be no limitations on a good cause. Red cross, Salvation Army, United Way and thousands of other good causes would be no where if only one group of people were ever allowed to donate. The more the merrier for donations, no matter where they are generated.

Usually it is common knowledge around here that when someone sets up a swap and you see that there is another one that is like the one you would like to achieve to set up, you ask that host if they would mind if you could do a email swap of some sort of swap of that idea. I have been here for quite a while and this is how it has always been.

Thank you biasbabe.

And mind your own business PixelPixie. You have obviously not been here long enough to understand that this has absolutely nothing to do with "ownership" or "grandstanding". It is about common courtesy on this website. When you want to copy someone's swap, you pm them first to make sure they are ok with it.

This just reminds me again why I shouldn't do public swaps. I am done commenting here.

And I don't care if thebragal deletes everything.

On the sign in page/home page, if you click on Frequently Asked Questions and scroll down to Coordinator Questions, number 5. What if someone copies my swap idea, it addresses this issue.

The idea is to respect ideas and people. A little courtesy goes a long way. This link states that "if you like a swap idea . . . make sure you contact the original swap's coordinator to ask politely for permission. It is also good etiquette to give credit for the idea to the original swap host and to link back to the original swap within your swaps description."

Please, remember to THINK

You made it my business.....and everyone elses, by posting all your comments here. You want me to mind my own business because I don't fully agree with you. I notice how its perfectly OK for others to make comments as long as they agree with you. You might not like what I have to say, but that's too bad. I am a part of this swap and I am commenting on the comments left on the swap I am participating in. I have just as much right to say my piece here as you do.

I have been here over a year.... far from being a newbie. Maybe you have been here a little too long and take this site a wee bit too seriously. Maybe you should get out once in awhile and take in a bit of the rest of the world so that you will know how something like this is really not a mountain, but just a mole hill. Take a step back a breathe. It's not a loss of life or limb, nor is it a crime and in the grand scheme of things it is something that will soon be forgotten by pretty much everyone.

I understand how one might look for some common courtesy. But not everyone reads the FAQ so to assume that it's common knowledge to everyone, well you know what they say about assuming things right?......Yes, the Frequently Asked Questions states "Swap-bot does not support the act of copying swap ideas or wording," but it also states "However we do not have any specific rules against it." And it goes on to suggest some common courtesies...... but they are NOT rules.

Sure it may have been nice to have been contacted about it, but it didn't happen, mistakes are made sometimes. We learn and we move on. I certainly hope that you never make a single mistake here, because with all the people watching you and how you handle other people's mistakes..... well, I would rather think that it would only be fair that they wouldn't let you live it down just like you are doing now.

It's one thing to want to have respect, but you have to show it too. It goes both ways. It would have been more respectful to have written her a private message saying something along the lines of : "I noticed you made a swap almost exactly like mine. It bothers me to have one so similar and I would appreciate it if you removed yours for the time being. I am flattered that you like it so much, but could you please not copy my swaps or,perhaps in the future, maybe contact me first to discuss it with me. I hope you understand. Thanks a bunch!"

And I am sure most people receiving a message like that would respond favourably to it. But instead there is this smear campaign going on which is obviously aimed at being hurtful and vindictive. You are running a group for Newbie Mentors..... what are you teaching them? That it's OK to make mean comments when your feelings are hurt? If you are going to be a mentor that means your level of responsibility increases exponentially to be the adult in all such situations and to show them how to resolve differences with kindness and respect, even if it isn't shown to you. You need to be the bigger person, especially if you have people looking up to you. So yes, as flofirenzie has said "Please remember to THINK" ....You never know who is watching you.

I've seen swaps for this exact same thing one and two years ago. Did both of you go back and ask those people if you could copy? This isn't an original idea.

I did the first swap 3 years ago. Had the swap host chosen to wait until my swap was closed before she posted her swap, it wouldn't have been a problem.

I would like to apologize for my ranting and rudeness above. RL issues have clouded my judgement lately. Sorry.

While I copied the idea, I didn't copy the wording or links. It is all my own. This isn't a unique swap in the swapping world so I didn't feel the need to ask permission. And I asked TerryF if she'd consider an option to rate by email and she said no which is completely her choice and right. But I prefer emails! So I designed my own. My malice intended.

After all, how can MORE butterflies be a bad thing? Let's remember what making the butterflies is all about. SQUASHING HATRED! Thanks for the apology TerryF. I'm not good about checking the comments so I had no idea all of this was going on. Thanks for all of you who have shown your support in the comments or by joining.

Oops. Stupid iPhone spell checker. About should read 'NO malice intended'! Yikes!!!

Seriously? The message ABOVE correcting the one ABOVE it has a spell checker error too! Hilarious!

@thebragal your post almost made me cry.

Stress does get the better of all of us at times. @terryF you are to be admired, you bit the wrong apple and had the maturity to come back and apologize.

I saw this swap and think for me it is a good idea. I did not see @terryf s swap. However that being said. This is the swap I could join. not a hard copy photo swap. Thus I am grateful for both of you, you @terryF for starting it and you @thebragal for having the insight to realize some of us cannot do hard copy photos and emails are what we are able to do.